


If It Bites You

by doctornineandthreequarters



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: But we love him for it, Crack, Evan "Buckley" Buck is a dumbass, F/M, Firefam Feels, Firehouse 118 Family (9-1-1), Fluff and Crack, I'm Not Ashamed, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:41:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24145303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctornineandthreequarters/pseuds/doctornineandthreequarters
Summary: “Okay but what’s the difference between venomous and poisonous again?”---Or, pure unadulterated crackfic featuring our favorite Firehouse Fam.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Firehouse 118 Crew, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Howie "Chimney" Han & Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 23
Kudos: 388





	If It Bites You

**Author's Note:**

> Did I mean for my first fic in the 9-1-1 fandom to be a full on crack fic? No. Am I ashamed about this. Also no. Please enjoy. 
> 
> Also, this story was based on [ this post. ](https://doctornineandthreequarters.tumblr.com/post/617906480793927680/mentallymacaronipenguin-lettucebean)

“Okay but what’s the difference between venomous and poisonous again?”

It was a slow day for the 118. Bobby was, as always, at the kitchen cooking. Hen had her MCATs book open and was attempting to study for the billionth time. Chimney was alternating between looking at his phone and looking at Buck. Eddie was staring directly at his best friend, feeling like he was the cause of this conversation.

“Any reason why this is on your mind Buck?” Bobby asked with a slightly amused look. 

“Eddie mentioned that Christopher was going on this nature walk,” Buck explained. “And I wanted to make sure there wasn’t anything harmful in the area.” Eddie shook his head. Buck was his best friend, but god was he a dumbass sometimes. A very sweet dumbass to be worried about Christopher, but a dumbass nonetheless. “So again I ask, what’s the difference between venomous and poisonous?”

“If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous,” Hen said, closing her study book. “If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.” Buck still looked confused. 

“What if it bites me and it dies?”

“That means you're poisonous,” Chimney said with an eye roll. “Listen to other people for once.” His tone was teasing and Buck wondered how long before Maddie knew about this conversation. 

“Okay but what if it bites itself and I die?” Buck asked, a smirk on his face

“Why would it-” Eddie started, but Hen cut him off.

“That’s voodoo.” Eddie raised an eyebrow at her response and Buck just nodded understandingly. “Any more questions?” Buck chuckled, the conversation having veered from his original question. 

“What if it bites me and Buck dies?”

“That’s correlation, not causation.”

“I’m telling Maddie you said that.” Chimney chuckled and shrugged. 

“But what if we bite each other and no one dies?” Chimney asked and Hen just rolled her eyes with a playful smirk, as Eddie took a sip of his drink.

“That’s just kinky,” Buck retorted. Eddie nearly choked on his drink at that and Hen and Chimney burst out laughing. Buck smacked Eddie’s back as Eddie tried to clear his throat, his ears turning red. 

“If we’re done talking about things biting other things,” Bobby said, getting everyone’s attention. “I need some help setting the table.” Hen and Chimney got up, heading over to the tables to help Bobby. Buck just chuckled as he observed the look on Eddie’s face. 

“I could kill you.” Eddie said as they got up from the couch. 

“That would be murder.” And Buck ducked as Eddie went to swat at Buck’s head, Buck’s laughter filling the firestation. 


End file.
